I was sitting this morning in the quiet and I started to reflect. I was questioning my current opinion or view of those who were beginning to enter into myself, those who have recently exited, and those who have been a part of my life for a very long time. A more solid image began to form. We are all complex and multi-dimensional puzzles that are in process, and are being built over our lifespan.
For years I would try to apply a label, a reason, season or lifetime, to people who were in or coming into my life. To be completely honest, people use labels like this to build certainty in our culture of uncertainty (also known as a fear response). The only way to truly understand the role a person has when they enter into our life is to stay present and let things play out. Watch and learn what that purpose is.
I was walking, in our social distancing climate, with a new person who has entered into my sphere of life. This person and I could feel a pull towards one another but we couldn't discern why. We both, regretfully, attempted to define what that pull was, and when we shared our thoughts we were both a bit embarrassed. Why? Why did I feel the need to tag him and label him, and him me! Why did we try, so prematurely, to define what the role is that we will serve in the other's life? Are we friends? Am I a comforter? I am a supporter? Who am I in this new man's life? I don't know because I don't have all the pieces. Yet.
We walked and came to an agreement that men and women have integral roles in each others lives. We agreed that God had drawn us into something (unknown), for some time (undefined), and that we are going to support, encourage and be available. We acknowledged that God knows what He's doing. God has brought the most wonderful mentors, students, and iron networks to me over the last several years and it's my job to enjoy, not to set out parameters of where a relationship leads. If I had done this I would be missing out of some of the most blessed relationships I could ever hope for.
Here's my point, and maybe my challenge: I encourage you to see yourself as beautifully complex, an artful work in progress, and while we are here we are all unfinished. I want to invite you to imagine yourself in a new way, as a beautifully dynamic puzzle with pieces still to be filled.
The world is full of puzzle piece treasurers; some come into our life with wrong pieces and desire to force their piece where it does not go; others are patiently waiting, abiding, to see their place; and others have left prematurely without leaving the piece they were intended to. If you look back over your life you can identify the roles that people have taken in your life, wanted or unwanted, but you can't prescribe those roles moving forward. [Take a deep breath]. As people (men, women and even youth) come into the sphere of your life, I encourage you to let them be. Don't define them, don't try to fit them into a special role or purpose, don't seek for them to fulfill something in you or vice versa. Rather, wait patiently. Let time fulfill its purpose. Look at people, and yourself, as treasure holders in this puzzle-building life of ours. ~Be encouraged!
Christine Mauriello's core strengths include motivational speaking, teaching, relational skills’ training, coaching, and compassionate care to meet the recovery goals for those with PTSD, addiction, trauma, divorce, and other setbacks.